In preparation for the upcoming Democratic National Convention in Denver, it's best to map out a small, but effective little guide to first timers and those watching from home.

Okay, so I obviously have been witnessing how people have been begging Obama to FIGHT BACK AND KILL (Moby, I expect better from you!), or freaking out that Hillary and her PUMAs will wreck the show in Denver, the almost-daily freakout of a single poll, and whatever else.

First, repeat after me: SERENITY NOW! (Destroys all 25 of George Costanza's computers)

There, now that's taken care of, I think I ought to show a few things that will hopefully ease your minds. I will also include posts from the Field regarding these issues, since they really say it best.

I've learned many valuable lessons during this election year, and one of them is that there is more than two ways of dealing with matters.

I don't know about you guys, but I find this utterly hilarious. We all know Paris and Britney are two maligned superstars of our day, with a lack of cranial knowledge. For even the dumbest moron to think that Obama is as dumb or talentless as those two is a hilarious joke. That is, people outside the McCain campaign. I caught a David Shuster segement about the ad where one of McCain's lady speakers thought it was so true and that out of the 200,000 Germans who went to see Obama's speech, there arent around visitors who are registered American voters. And then she kept bringing up that "Likely voters" poll that is just another snapshot in time and nothing more.

Movies tend to be refuge from the drudges of our everyday life, and no doubt has at least one of them affected us in some way. Each of these films have left a message on and/or off the screen that we, as human beings, should take into note. These are in no particular order:

In honor of Senator Obama's classic comment about how America doesn't need another Dr. Phil to tell them that all of our problems are in our head and we should feel sorry for ourselves for putting ourselves into this "mindset", I thought it might be best to speculate what it would be like if John McCain went on Dr. Phil's show (Still awaiting it's demise) to talk about his troubled campaign...

Now, I don't watch Dr. Phil, so forgive me if this is rather tame and short.

Mocking each others' voices is encouraged.

NOTE: Out of respect of Obama's wishes regarding their respective wives, I will not feature Cindy in this.

I'm very excited about Obama taking on Mile High Staduim for his acceptance speech, since you certainly want all the noise of 75,000 people you can get, especially since you're going first (And it's traditional that the second one to go gets the bigger bump). We certainly don't have to worry about any brokered convention now that Hillary's out and backing Obama. It seems as if Denver's suddenly got plenty to cheer about, when you factor in that they finally had a World Series last October. Plus, it's quite an attraction for the media. They sure do love their glitz.

And then we hear the talk of a potential fight over the platform at the GOP convention, between McCain's supporters and the far-right conservatives. Nobody usually cares about platforms these days since it's pretty obvious what they'll say, but this could be different. And it could get all the more interesting depending on how persistent Ron Paul and his supporters are at that alternative convention next door.

This all reminds me of a couple conventions not too recent, but not too far away:

It's time we had a blog to take our mind off things and have a good laugh.

Since many of you know I love to rag on the utter shit of cinema these days, I've decided to start a little series. Bear with me as I get used to writing film reviews here, so this one will be rather short instead of a full recap here.

Whenever Keith Olbermann mentioned Bill O'Reilly as the "Frank Burns of News", it takes me back memories. I used to watch M*A*S*H often on FX when I was in middle school (I'm now 21), and Frank was always my favorite because of the comedic value brought by the late, great Larry Linville. Ever since FX took it off (So it could have more commercial time for it's "gritty" dramas), I had forgotten about it, but when Keith started the comparisons last fall, it always gave me a good laugh and brought back memories for me.

Never mind the obvious personality similarities, the physical resemblance is amazing. It's almost as if Frank got a spin-off series after the Korean War, and you knew you could see him at FOX News someday.

For those who are still awake...at 12:15 AM, let's take a moment to reflect on the senator and his life and work. A life tragically cut short at age 42, let's work to fulfill the unfinished work on the horizon, and let's do it not just for Bobby, but for ourselves.

May he rest in peace, and may his dreams be fulfilled.

A terrible day 40 years ago today/tomorrow. I wish he and his brother Jack were here today to see this as their hopes for the future finally become fruition. And may his brother Teddy have a full and complete recovery so he can continue to serve his country.

May his dreams continue to live on...

Rest in Peace Bobby...1925-1968

I'm glad to hear that Obama's people will hopefully not go into a frenzy the same way Clinton's people plan on doing.

My question is that how would the media potray us for this sort of thing, and can the Clinton noisemakers really make us look bad on Saturday? No doubt the committee will decide on a resolution that will leave the Clinton supporters very unhappy (Since they don't want Obama to get anything). I'm a little worried about how they'll act, and if there's any limit to it.

I know it's a small diary, and I hate to sound like anything resembling a paranoia freak, but it's something that's been gnawing at me.

I'm not worried about how the committee votes, that's for sure. It's just how we portray ourselves.

FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET, CLOSE THIS DIARY NOW!

I'll leave this as an open thread for anyone who got to see it tonight. I live in Vegas, but I have an east coast HBO feed, so I got to see the premiere tonight, and it was exciting and tense as hell, and I learned a great deal about what happened, and I finally learned what the stupid under and overvote chads meant. If this wasn't 2008 and I wasn't so confident about Obama's chances, it'd be much harder to watch for me, and I couldn't help but think about all that's happened since 2000, especially 9/11 and the War.

The one thing that really burnt me hard was...

WHY THE HELL DID JOE LIEBERMAN STAB US IN THE BACK EVEN BACK THEN???

Is it something in the weather or in the air today? Because all of a sudden, I'm seeing nothing but Chicken Littles acting as if Clinton's stubbornness has already lost us the election to McCain. Everyone's acting as if the past couple weeks never happened. And everyone's freaking out that one little superdelegate from Guam endorsed Clinton.

This won't be a long diary, so pardon me if it doesn't meet guidelines.

So I hear Terry McAullife today on MSNBC and CNN, and it's nothing but some good laughs outside of Bill O'Reilly these days, when he goes on about there being "2210" delegates, how Obama will lose big in states McAullife has written off, and basically giving the same strategy that has drove the Democrats into the ground during the decade.

He's also made mention of how they'll have had their 3rd best month ever, and that they'll have $10 million to fight on until the end. Never mind the fact that she's launched a Nixonian attack on the media as if it were all their fault for her losing. Never mind the fact that the whole hope that their entire block of supporters would even think of blowing this golden opportunity at a Democratic president out of bitterness (No pun intended). And never mind the fact that nobody cares about her anymore and her joke of advisors.

Since I'm aiming for laughs here, I think this photo will best describe Clinton headquarters Election Night and the day after...

I know this may be a few months late, but I hope you all get the joke here.

Before the inevitable slimming down of the field of presidential candidates,  I was really shocked how many of them entered in around the end of 2006/early 2007, to where Jon Stewart dubbed it "Clusterf**k to the White House". My term is basically, "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Election", with a premise pretty much similar to the Stanley Kramer classic, with a huge ensemble cast!

The basic premise is that Jimmy Durante/George W. Bush, on the run, aged, and gravely injured from a car crash on the desert highway, tells the candidates about the Big W (The White House) and first one there wins!

I wrote this as a comment already on Tuesday evening, since we were all in a panic regarding Pennsylvania, in order to try to calm myself with logical facts here. I figure I'd give everyone a chance to look these over and help ease some of our minds, fatigued from all the over analyzing of polls and results, whatever new absurd thresholds the Clinton camp comes up with, and all the other nonsense (Except when Chuck Todd the Mathematician Wizard makes some sense out of it, always with comfort).

While this is understandable since you wouldn't want to take any chances this year given it's our big chance to really begin a new Progressive Era, at the same time, I am seeing so much unhealthy panic about how "This helps McCain!", "1968 Redux" or "McCain is the real winner", and this was from the Huffington Post! It got so bad that I nearly wanted to believe them myself, so that's part of the reason why I'm writing this.

This reminds me too much of how Bill Paxton kept whining about the inevitable doom in Aliens (And no, it doesn't mean it will come true like it did for him)

So, no polls or anything. Just the facts.